chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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