I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
