Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
