I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
