Whoa Z and x make the same sound
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
