I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
