you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
