Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My pussy is not your playground.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
