i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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