She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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