Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm passing your future prison.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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