He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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