He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
