My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize