Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
