Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This house was built for laser tag.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
