Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
