We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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