It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
