My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
