i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize