Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
