I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Randomize
