At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
