I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
