I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize