the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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