so that wasnt chicken after all
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
