..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
