nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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