And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
