im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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