Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize