You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
