your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
