I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
