talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize