she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
