how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize