Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
