I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
