I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
