You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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