Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
