marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
