its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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