if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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