My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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