You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
