So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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