This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Duck Duck Cougar?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So squirting runs in the family.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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