How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
