She is in my trunk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize