For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize