sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You are a genius and a whore.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
