Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
