She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
