That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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