Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
